Letter of a mother to her IVF son

Dearest Phuc Vinh – my July boy!

Even right at this moment holding you in my arm, looking at your sweet asleep face, I still can’t believe that you are finally here with me. For us to being with one another like this, we’ve come such a long journey, haven’t we?

At the age of 40, while other women are worrying about schools and classes for their children, or enjoying the time they have for themselves as their children are all grown, I still struggled on my journey “searching” for you.

At the age of 40, while many people have already settled down with their homes filled with children’s laughter, I was still pondering on the question: “Where is my baby?”

Just like any other couples, after getting married, your father and I had always imagined that we soon had you and in that scenario, we’d listen to your first words “mommy”, “daddy”, or get to hold you in our arms… However, in order to have that little simple joy, we’ve had to go through such a long and challenging journey.

Do you know how long and difficult all the time that you weren’t here was? It is the time of tears and sorrows. How could I not be miserable when all around me was the sight of happy, blissful mothers with their babies? How could I not be tearful when my desire to have, hold and love you was screaming inside me? Even for a while, I became jealous of all the mothers in this entire world.

Apparently at the beginning of 2017, God finally heard my prayers and gave me the most incredible gift in this universe: a baby. Unfortunately, the fetus grew and developed outside my womb, so there was no way that I could keep the baby. After that my oviducts were removed. I cried my heart out, thinking that I would never have a single chance to meet you.

But I was somewhat hopeful again when a friend introduced me to IVF Hong Ngoc – a place trusted by numerous infertile couples who are on the journey of “searching” for a baby.

I can’t tell you enough how long and tough the journey that the team of doctors at IVF Hong Ngoc and I went through was. I can’t even find the way to tell you how worried and terrified I was in every single time of embryo transfer. Then how can I describe my exhausting time with morning sickness? I just surely know the wonderful gift named “you” would eventually be the greatest pay-off for all the hardship.

My little sweet baby, when you grow up, the one definite thing I will tell you is the story of belief. As thanks to it, I have found my little boy. I had always believed that you would, for sure, enter my life. And I had trusted even more that the team of doctors at IVF Hong Ngoc would certainly lead me to you. As you can see, I was so right to choose to believe them.

One more thing that I want to tell is how brave you were, my little boy. Do you know how courageous you were? On October 6th 2018, the doctors announced that the embryo – you – was implanted safely in my womb. I burst right into tears of happiness. But in the first months of pregnancy, with the fear of miscarriage, I was so worried that I would lose you like the last time. Yet my boy was so fearless that we could both go through all the Heparin treatments.

The challenges didn’t just stop there. The bad news came in the last few weeks of pregnancy when the doctors told me “bad placenta, little amniotic fluid, short cervix”. It was all buzzing in my ears and I couldn’t hear anything more from them. But then I reached my hand to my stomach – where you were, I slowly regained calm and told myself that I’d have to fight for you. My boy, you were so great, you had known to give me strength ever since you were just a tiny bean inside me.

All my joy seemed to burst at the moment you were born, healthy at the 36th week. July 3rd 2019 will probably the happiest and most special day of my life because it was the day my brave little boy had his first cry. Thank you, little sweet Phuc Vinh of mine.

I’d also like to express my great gratitude to Dr. Ivan, Dr. Thuy Duong, along with the team of doctors at IVF Hong Ngoc, who gave the greatest gift of all: “you”.

My dearest July boy, I love you!

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